Author: Margie Nichols, Ph.D.

50 Shades of Hysteria: Why the Feminist Critique of the Movie ’50 Shades of Grey’ is Erotophobia in Disguise

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. The Internet has been blowing up about the movie ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ and most of the commentary I’ve seen is negative. Tracy Scott-Flore wrote a piece in Salon called ’50 Shades of Coercive,’ accusing the movie of contributing to the rape culture, And SFist.com published an article misleadingly called ’50 Adult Stars and Professionals On Why They Hate 50 Shades of Grey’ – misleading because many of them actually liked it and were happy to see BDSM mainstreamed. I had a hard time plowing through the book – not enough sex scenes – and wasn’t planning to see the movie. But overall, I’ve felt the book was great – because 100 million people bought it, most of them women. And tons more women bought sex toys associated with the book, implying they might be trying to make some of their sexual fantasies into reality. Because I’m a feminist and a sex radical who feels that by definition, any erotica that women likes is – feminist. Because I’m a sex therapist who feel women already feel way too much shame about their sexuality and I’m happy to see anything that validates and allows women to express… Read more »

10 Things You Might Not Know about Bisexuality

Bisexuality is widely misunderstood—by heterosexual and gay/lesbian people alike. Here are some things we are beginning to understand about bisexual people. READ MARGIE’S NEW BLOG HERE: “10 THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT BISEXUALITY”

Facebook’s Fifty Shades Of Gender

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. Five decades of interaction between “mainstream” and LGBTQ subcultures made Facebook’s much-publicized profile change inevitable. READ MARGIE’S NEW BLOG HERE: “HOW WE ARRIVED AT 50 SHADES OF GENDER OPTIONS ON FACEBOOK”

The Real Treatment Issues for Transgender and Gender Non-conforming Kids

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. A nuanced, flexible, and tailored treatment approach to gender identity issues in childhood and adolescence is the prudent approach. Read Margie’s latest blog HERE: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/transgender-and-gender-nonconforming-youth-the-real-issues-0414145

The Phony Debate About Treatment for Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Kids

By Margie Nichols Ph. D. Recent published reports woefully miss the mark with regard to treatment pertaining to transgender and gender-nonconforming children.  Read Margie’s latest GoodTherapy.org blog here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/phony-debate-about-transgender-and-gender-nonconforming-youth-0306144

What My Grief Has Taught Me About Psychotherapy

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. In 2004 I lost my daughter Jesse four days before her tenth birthday.   For reasons of sheer survival, I went back into counseling right after Jesse died, after a hiatus of a number of years, with New York -based therapist Bruce Wood.  Among his many skills, Bruce has a great deal of experience with post-traumatic stress, which I guarantee you ensues upon the loss of a child. My own process of stumbling back to semi-normalcy (one forever has a piece of themselves missing after a loss like this) has helped my practice and informed my beliefs about psychological theory in ways I’m just beginning to understand. More than anything it has confirmed, or re-confirmed, the value of psychotherapy. I can’t imagine getting through this without Bruce.  I have renewed appreciation for how important it is to have someone in your life who listens to you talk about yourself and your experience without wanting reciprocal attention; who is not affected by your decisions or behavior and therefore has no stake in your direction other than to help you attain your own goals; who does not judge you, but will also tell you the truth about yourself, in… Read more »

Sex Is Queerer Than We Can Imagine—Really

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. The neatly categorized notions most people apply to sexual orientation, expression, and gender identity may not be inclusive enough. Read the full blog, published on GoodTherapy.org, here!

Losing Lou Reed: It Takes A Busload Of Faith To Get By

by Dr. Margie Nichols When Lou Reed’s New York album came out in 1989, many friends and I related instantly. It was hard, harsh and gritty. It expressed the anger, cynicism and mistrust of the government that we all felt. Although only one song, ‘Halloween Parade,’ explicitly referenced gay people and AIDS, it was easy for us queers who were surrounded by the disease and faced with society’s hatred of gay men and the government’s homicidal negligence to identify with Reed’s polemical songs about classism, racism, xenophobia and environmental plunder. They also expressed pain, hopelessness, despair – and yet, in addition, a shred of hope and mysticism. And some songs did all of this in one, like ‘Busload of Faith.’ One of my most vivid memories of that era, one that makes me smile and cry at the same time, is of IPG therapist Curt Schulze and me singing that song together at the top of our lungs. Curt died a couple of years later, of AIDS.

LGBT Youth Suicide

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. Check out Margie’s blog on Goodtherapy.org about the problem of suicide among LGBT teens and young adults.  Gay, lesbian, bi and trans and gender non-conforming kids make more suicide attempts than other adolescents – but we can do something about this!

Bisexuality – Still A Hotly Debated Issue – By Straight And Gay People Alike

by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. The blog I wrote for Goodtherapy.org about bisexuality must have touched a nerve – more people have commented than any other blog I’ve written.  Who knew, more than 20 years after I came out as ‘bi’ in the 1980’s, that it would still be such a hot-button topic? Read it HERE