Connection is the most important part of any intimate relationship, however, it is usually the part that is most neglected. If your connection to your partner isn’t fueled, the fire can go out. When the relationship was new the connection got fed by the excitement, the hormones and the unlimited possibilities. Then, life happened and things got in the way and before you knew it, the connection began to get weak.
The good news is that you can awaken and energize your connection and have some fun while doing it. Below are 5 couple’s therapy techniques you and your partner can do at home:
1. Teach Something New to Each Other.
Think of something you are good at that your partner has little or no experience in. Maybe you are a great cook or you’re good at archery or you can juggle. Whatever it is both of you will agree to set aside time and teach each other. Make sure to have patience and make it fun.
Why? One of the fuels for connection is seeing our partner through new and different eyes. Allowing your partner to be an authority on something and becoming the student can bring about a whole different way of experiencing each other.
2. Make an Appreciation List.
Sit facing each other and take turns telling each other things that you appreciate about each other. Go back and forth until you run out of things to say.
Why? Oftentimes, we get used to thinking about the things our partner does that bothers us. Feeding the connection requires that we remind ourselves about the good things. Plus, who doesn’t like to hear good things about themselves?
3. Host a Couples Interview.
Each person comes up with a list of 10 questions then interview each other. Questions can be things like: What was your favorite toy growing up? What was your best day before we met? If your favorite flavor ice cream wasn’t available what would you choose? Who was your best friend when you were little?
Why? As much as we think we know everything there is about our partner, there are always things we can discover and this feeds the connection.
4. Create an Intimacy list.
Each person writes a list of 10 things the other can do for them that would make them feel loved and special. Whatever is on the list has to be precise and measurable – so “be nice to me” won’t work. Bring me flowers, wash the car, cook a meal, take me on a date, wash my hair, give me a massage, say I love you in text message, read to me – will work.
Why? It is most important for the connection that each person is loved in the way that it makes them feel special and not in the way that it makes us feel special.
5. Give Each Other a Couples Massage.
Each person will set up the atmosphere and give the other a full body non-sexual massage.
Why? Sensuality and feeling nurtured and pampered by your partner goes a long way in fueling the connection.
By practicing these 5 couple’s therapy techniques, you will be able to reignite the fire in your relationship. Additionally, your connection with each other and understanding for one another will strengthen again. And, feel free to reach out to IPG Counseling for any additional advice!