6 Couple Therapy Techniques You Can Try at Home

What happens when your relationship is a bit stale?  Do you feel like you don’t need couples therapy but you could definitely use a little boost?  The following is a small list of exercises that a couples therapist may give to a couple to bridge the gap and enhance their connection.

1. Couples Interview: No matter how long you’ve known your partner, you don’t know everything there is to know. Finding out new things about your partner enhances the sense of autonomy which can create a newer more fresh connections. Both you and your partner will create a list of 10 questions to ask each other. Then, set aside some time where you won’t be bothered and take turns answering the questions. Examples: What was your first record album, CD or music you ever downloaded? What was one of your best days? What was your favorite childhood toy? If you could invite 3 famous people to have to dinner who would they be and why?

2. Super Secret Surprise Dates: This one is done once a month and you can take turns with it. Simply design the perfect date that you know your partner will enjoy. Remember, this isn’t something you are designing for yourself or for both of you but rather something for your partner. Make all of the arrangements yourself – even if you need to arrange for childcare. Then call your partner and ask them if they are free for a certain date and time and don’t tell them where they are going. Simply let your partner know what time to be ready and what to wear and what to bring in anything. Keep the date a surprise until you actually get to the destination.

3. Schedule Sex: Yup, that’s right. For all of you who think that scheduled sex is boring, I can tell you that sex is rarely, if ever, spontaneous. Even when you were dating, if you suspected you may be having sex you made sure certain things were in place …. Condoms, shaving in appropriate places, clean sheets and bathroom etc. If it isn’t scheduled chances are it won’t happen. Additionally, just because it’s scheduled doesn’t mean it has to be stale. Spend time during the day simmering with each other to help set the mood for later on.

4. Make Time For Fun: One thing I will always remember about growing up in my family is that every Saturday night my parents arranged for a sitter and went out. Regardless of commitments you may have around things such as kids, the house, finances, chores, the essence of your relationship is the connection that got sparked before there was a house and kids. That flame needs to fed or the fire will die.

5. Love List: Create a list that is measurable and specific that is your partner did one of these things for you, you would feel special and love. Anything at all can be on the list, just tailor it to you. Then exchange lists and agree to do one thing from your partner’s list a week.

6. Couples Massage: Of course it is important to also create time and space for non-sexual intimacy. Agree to swap massages that are non-sexual. The purpose is not to get a sexual response from your partner. Non-sexual touch is an amazing way to feed your relationship connection

If your relationship is in need of couple’s therapy, these exercises won’t be enough to put things back on the right course.  But, if all you need is a boost, then have fun trying these techniques at home.


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