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By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. First, let me say a little more about decoupling sex and love. Because, imho, the source of many of our sexual difficulties is our sloppy sentimentality about sex and love. The reason we personalize our partner’s sexual behavior so much is that we are viewing sexuality through lenses distorted by false…
“Laugh at your own suffering, and weep for the grief of others.” — Thakur “The deeper that sorrow carves into our being, the more joy we can contain.” — Kahlil Ghibran “I’m nobody, who are you? Are you nobody too? Good, then there’s a pair of us, don’t tell, they’ll banish us, you know.” — Emily…
Ah, dear, dear Pema Chodron (or whatever your name was when you were growing up in the Big Apple, where I too did my growing), I adore the freshness, vivacity and revelations of your teachings and the sharing of your own personal struggles. Each of the four books of yours that I have so vividly underlined and underlined…
By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. In the sex therapy field there is a wonderful concept put out by my colleague Barry McCarthy called “good enough sex.” Modeled after the old psychodynamic concept of the “good enough mother,” it proposes that people’s idealized visions of what should be – the perfect mother, the perfect sexual experience, the…
“The ability to think about what is not happening is a cognitive achievement that comes at an emotional cost.” — Killingsworth and Gilbert “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable— if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things.” — Paul, the New…
By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. The winter holidays are hailed as a time for family, gift giving, and happiness, yet for many they are the most miserable time of the year. Lots of reasons for this: these days evoke memories of horrible childhood holidays that still seem to overwhelm the present; they evoke memories of wonderful…
By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. “One of the criticisms leveled against the APA for removing homosexuality as a disorder is that science does not advance by a vote of hands. These critics forget that any list is produced by a group of people who vote for or against it in the first place. “ —Charles Silverstein,…
How easily the ego enriches delusion bitches at what is itches for what is not pitches its tent in the hot shit of jealousy ditches reality kitsch it applauds ignores love-ability hitches its wagon to whichever star happens to twinkle stitch by stitch and twitch by twitch until we itch for what IS bitch at…
Book Review by Michael Moran, L.C.S.W With the tragedy of Rutgers student Tyler Clemente’s suicide this past September, the pivotal importance of positively impacting mainstream culture of the issues and experiences our lesbian and gay children face has painfully hit our radar. Too many lesbian and gay adolescents continue to be harassed — GLSEN’s recent…
— Vivekenanda With increasing freshness, vivacity, fascination and energy, my meditation practice has been becoming, more and more, though not every day, a source of freedom from the hourly everyday seesaw of good feelings and bad feelings that was my lot before I began a serious– forty years ago– daily practice of meditation and concentration…
