Almost 9 in 10 Americans, or 88% of the population, believe that love is the most important reason to get married. This is way ahead of financial stability (28%) and legal benefits (23%), according to a survey by Pew Research Center. However, love is often not enough to hold the marriage together for a lifetime.
If you are on the brink of separation or trying to fix a sinking relationship, couples therapy could work wonders. It can help improve communication, address hidden relationship problems and ensure that both partners are heard and understood, say experts at the Institute for Personal Growth.
If your partner is hesitant to attend a counseling session, here’s how to get them to agree to therapy.
1. Avoid the Blame Game
Tell your partner that therapy is intended to talk about the marriage in general. It is not meant to blame them for all that is going wrong. Counseling sessions are not designed to shame a particular individual. When your partner is assured that there’ll be no embarrassments or direct confrontation, they might even look forward to it.
2. Talk About Benefits of Couples Counseling
Couple counseling is a lot like talking openly to a trusted friend. The therapist will help you to re-ignite the passion for each other and help you feel positive and connected. There is nothing scary about the therapy session. In fact, it is about learning, understanding, sharing views and figuring out the root cause of problems. Knowing your partner’s wishes and goals, understanding their love language and repairing conflicts are the three skills taught in most therapy sessions, says an article on Psych Central.
3. Adopt an Alternate Outlook
Have a positive approach towards couples counseling. Instead of seeing it as a treatment, consider it as a fruitful activity. It will help you open your mind and refresh your ideas and opinions about each other. A counseling session can not only be used to solve current issues but can also prevent discord from cropping up in the future. It is a great opportunity to know each other and help you work towards a common goal.
4. Choose the Right Time
Approach your partner when they are in the right frame of mind. The best time would be when both of you are free to hold a good conversation. Avoid taking up the topic when you are driving to work or are at the breakfast table on a weekday. The conversation might have to be cut short and would not be convincing enough.
Honestly discussing the benefits and picking the right tone can ensure best results.